Praise of Golf, Praise of Folly:

A Reformation Golf Fantasy

By Donald Millus

Copyright 1998: All Rights Reserved. Permission is hereby given to make single copies for personal use.

 

Table of Contents

 

Author’s Preface:                                “She  Knows You”

Cast of Characters:          “Who plainly think themselves demigods

Introduction:                        “Please Welcome Folly”

1.            In the Beginning

2.           A Game of Forgetting

3.           The Contemplative Student

4.           Original Sin: Why We Leave Putts Short

5.           Milton’s Satan’s Temper

6.           “I Lost My Golf Ball”                                          

7.            The Rich Man’s Game?

8.            Where Did You Go, Joe DiMaggio?

9.            My Favorite Foursome     

10.          The Follies of Guys and Dollies

11.         Folly On Hollywood:  Go Rattle Your Tin Cup

12.          The Japanese Way of Golf

13.          Stretching the Advertising Dollar and the Truth:  It’s Showtime       

14           Television Golf

15.          “There’s  A Ground Putt To Buckner”

16.           Terms of Ensnarement                                                                                      

17.           Golf Beats Fishing and Vice Versa

18.           Of Sandbaggers and Handicaps

19.           Here Come the Golf Riders

20.          “Poetry in Motion”                                                        

21.         Conclusion: The Ultimate Folly          

 

                                                          


 

“She  Knows You”

                You are about to listen to the voice of an old friend, someone who has been with you since childhood, especially if you are a golfer.  Your wife, husband, girl friend, boy friend,  can’t be jealous,  for all of them have also spent time with her.  Her name is Folly, and without her there is no golf, but neither is there anything else to enjoy or suffer in life. Knowing her better will make everything better, perhaps even your game.

                As you read this,  keep in mind the words of  Sir Thomas Chaloner, who first translated The Praise of Folie into English  in 1549: “Folie in all points is not so strange to us . . . she will be sure to beare a stroke in most of our doings.”  [1]    She means no harm, and neither does the author of the present work.  At heart, both Folly and golf are serious  fun.

1.  The Praise of Folie, ed Clarence H. Miller, EETS, Oxford, 1965.  In  this work, all quotations and paraphrases from Praise of Folly that have weird spellings [and many that don’t]  are taken from this edition.  The author also hereby acknowledges a deeper debt to Betty Radice’s translation, first published by Penguin Books, 1971, with introduction and notes by A.H.T. Levi.

                                                               


Cast of  Characters

                                                “Who plainly think themselves demigods.”

Folly, a pretty although well-endowed  woman, definitely seductive,  of  a well-kept early 40-something  years, but whose actual age is co-equal to that of the human race.  She has a well-earned twenty handicap  from the men’s tees. One of her better known press agents was a Dutchman, Desiderius Erasmus.  (See below.).

                Tom, also known as St. Thomas More, a most serious appearing English gentleman with a wry sense of humor. Plays to a genuine six  handicap from the back tees, but is constantly trying to perfect his game. Cool and steady,  he rarely three putts.  Of a  vigorous and lean middle-age, he is the author of  Utopia,  and was once heavily involved in politics, despite his own misgivings. Once despised Tyndale  (see next), but now tolerates him for the sake of a good game of golf.

                Bill,  known to his readers as William Tyndale,  also an Englishmanlate thirties, feisty, a competitor, with an eight handicap  from the men’s tees.  Translated the Bible into English in the early sixteenth century and was executed for heresy in Belgium in 1536, the year after More’s beheading for treason.  Not long off the tees, but rarely strays from the fairway. Will take chances  on the course. Loves to tease More

Erasmus, given name Desiderius, but, like South American soccer stars, goes by his last name. Slightly older than More, but his closest friend, he sometimes has to act as a buffer, along with Folly, between Tyndale and More. A bogey golfer because he refuses to concentrate on the game, but capable of many well-struck shots. The most scholarly of the foursome, and the most likable  of  the men, he is the author of  Praise of Folly.

Ourselves,  that is all the golfers of the world, ranging  from those playing once or twice a year to every day  plus beating balls on the range  and practicing putting in the living room and chipping in the backyard.